so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
