she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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