Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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