I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My vagina is officially offended.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
