they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
