I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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