i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
