Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
