i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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