Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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