I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
