I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
