let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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