Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
