I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
