Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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