Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
