i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
