I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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