Can i not drive my cunt home
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
