We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
