READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize