how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize