absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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