i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
