My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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