Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
