OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
