the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize