Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
