oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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