Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there was a trapeze. enough said
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
