Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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