Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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