He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
