I must be too annoying 4 u.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
