guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
