girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
