why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
