I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
