Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
