I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
