she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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