dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize