OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
