If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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