Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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