I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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