Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
