Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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