break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
