You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize