yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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