she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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