i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
