I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
