Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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