yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
there is glitter all over my balls
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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