I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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