Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pants are for mortals
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
