I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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