U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
